Is the Honeymoon Over?

It is said that retirement can be one of the major stressors in life, toward the bottom of the list behind such catastrophes as death of a spouse, divorce, and jail time. I would probably include moving to a foreign country in the top ten. Everyone, of course, sees this as an amazing adventure which creates joy and a sense of freedom.  It does do that, but such a major change can wreak havoc with one's health. Soon after arriving in Mérida, Alan came down with a head cold which turned into cough and congestion that lingered for weeks. Shortly after that, I contracted a very annoying gastrointestinal bug which stayed with me for more than a week, necessitating a course of antibiotics. A few weeks ago Alan had an infected finger which stubbornly required two courses of antibiotics. We have yet to figure out how or why that happened and can only suppose that his digging in the garden played a roll. Then it was my turn for the head cold which, thankfully, lasted only a few days. All this to say, if you are in the process of such a move or even contemplating a major life change, be prepared. Your body will, most likely, resist such change with a (hopefully) small catastrophe of its own.

I believe that most of the expats who find themselves in the Yucatán, and Mérida in particular, come here with star-studded eyes, lured by the slightly European feel of the city and the lasting intrigue that Mexico offers. But what happens when the stars fade, leaving the harsh reality of crumbling sidewalks littered with carelessly tossed trash or the contents of a neighbor's garbage bag strewn about by a starving cat looking for an elusive meal?  Or the harsher reality of a city and culture not enamored with dogs and the glares received when seen walking your dog? In Mérida, or so it seems, dogs are to be sequestered in the home, not walked or exercised, and definitely not socialized. This has been a stressor, not for our two dogs, but for their sensitive owners who want more than anything to not be seen as rude or arrogant extranjeros. We occasionally see another expat walking their animals and I wonder if they feel the same tenseness at what was once a relaxing exercise for both dog and owner. Because there are no green spaces in our neighborhood (or our back yard), we go out armed, not only with our little plastic poop bags, but also a squirt bottle full of water for rinsing off the light pole or the sidewalk. For now, this is all that we can do. Still, a part of me wants to meet that glare with a smile and a statement. Esta es mi ciudad ahora, también! This is my city now, also.

Are we disillusioned, wondering what could we have possibly thought moving to Mérida? We certainly visited the city enough times to know that it is not the paradise that some chorus. What drew us here was an opportunity to experience and integrate into a fascinating and sometimes enigmatic culture. Understanding it all doesn't happen overnight and sometimes requires stepping into unfamiliar situations and even making mistakes. We will never feel integrated if we hide ourselves inside the confines of an expat enclave. That doesn't mean that we will avoid friendships with other expats. As newcomers to this country we need the advice and friendship of fellow expats to help us navigate through the sometimes frustrating bureaucracies, and perhaps along the way we will forge lasting friendships with a few.

The honeymoon might be ending soon but, hopefully,  the relationship will continue to grow and blossom.

Settling in to the Daily Routine...

We moved into our home, for good, at approximately 4:00 PM on Sunday, October 20th. We've owned our house four months shy of 3 years, and in that time our longest stay was 10 days. We've been here for 10 weeks now and we honestly don't know where the days go. We have a routine that has existed for almost twenty-five years which revolves around our animals. We awake around 7:00 AM  (much earlier when we were working stiffs), take the dogs for a 20 minute walk, return home, prepare their breakfast as well as the cat's, and have our own coffee and breakfast. Now that we are retired, instead of heading off to work, we generally check our email, our phones for any messages (not that we get very many), and our Face Book pages to keep up with what everyone in our small world has experienced in the past 24 hours -like viewing a photo of their breakfast, a picture of their children or a quote that has inspired them . It's comforting knowing that our friends actually eat!  Now that it's winter in the Yucatán, our daily morning swims have ceased because the pool water is a tad too cold. If we do something around the house that causes us to sweat profusely (which is mostly everything) a dip in the pool can be refreshing after first plunging in and vocalizing a loud #&%* (insert your favorite word here). We've never had a pool before, so we are meticulous about skimming, checking chlorine and pH levels, filtering, circulating, and backwashing. Actually, the filtration system is on a timer but we have to manually do the other things. This takes about an hour which includes standing back and admiring how clean and sparkling the water looks. Once a week we vacuum the bottom, being careful not to fall in while managing the 15-meter hose attached to the telescoping pole with a vacuum attachment on the end. This is not at all like our Dyson, which we regrettably left behind.

The little Klobenz we purchased at Liverpool (or was it Sears/Say-Arz?) manages, but really does not have the power to remove six months of el Centro dust that has infiltrated the sofa we purchased last April. The Yucatecan house cleaners are pretty good at beating the dust out, then brushing it away with a clean cloth.  Most seem to avoid anything electric which is understandable with the cost of electricity in Mexico.

So, after ten weeks in Mérida, are we comfortable, happy, and settling in? Definitely happy and comfortable enough for this stage of our transition.There are almost daily adventures for the most mundane chores, and although some trigger a bit of anxiety at times, we are learning our way around on our own and communicating well enough with our basic Spanish to accomplish our tasks. We try to study an hour each day and will likely begin private lessons soon.

Happy New Year / Feliz Año Nuevo

Update: We conquered an algae bloom in the pool, which followed a heavy rain and easing up a bit on the chlorine. Now I understand why the pool man kept it super-chlorinated. I don't like swimming in chlorine, but algae is worse.

Los perros en Mérida

I recently received  a comment on an older post related to the proposed Tampa to Yucatan ferry. I wrote about our desire for the ferry to become a reality because it would be the least traumatic way to transport our two dogs and cat to Mérida when we move there this summer.  The commenter stated that many people bring dogs into the country only to abandon them later and suggested that we leave our dogs behind and adopt unwanted dogs in Mérida, thereby "helping the problem, rather than adding to it." I was offended, at first, that this anonymous person could think that I would consider bringing our dogs to Mérida and then abandon them after realizing that they were getting in the way of our lives or becoming a nuisance or too expensive to keep. It was obvious that this person did not know us or the value that we place on these amazing animals. My response was that "suggesting we leave our dogs behind would be like asking someone to leave their child behind." (Here is where some will roll their eyes at such a comparison, but our animals are a part of our family).
And yes, they can be demanding and difficult at times.  I feel certain that our two would flunk out of Dog Whisperer school. The trauma they both experienced in the first few months of their lives, before we rescued them from certain euthanasia, helps us tolerate minor neuroses that others might not. I bonded with my first companion at the age of three -an American Staffordshire Terrier named Penny, who snarled when anyone that she did not know approached me. These animals are in our lives such a brief time, yet their impact is profound.

Having thought about the comment for a while, I have come to realize that the writer had only the best interests of the dogs in mind. It is tragic that so many companion animals are neglected and banished to the streets or to a shelter, where far too many must be euthanized because no one wants them. That is a heart breaking reality. There are many angels (and I know a few of them) who are working in Mérida and elsewhere to help end this tragedy.

Campaigns should be waged that discourage parents from giving in to their children who want a pet without understanding that it will be the parents' responsibility to care for the animal. And it is a HUGE responsibility with considerable expense. People should stop purchasing animals from retail pet shops. The "cute and irresistibly adorable" factor is responsible for many impulse purchases that begin with good intentions and end disastrously. Dogs, especially, can be trained to a degree but they have their own personalities and boundless energy. Watch out when they don't have an outlet, like DAILY walks, to expend some of that energy. They adapt amazingly well to your environment, and when they are not out sniffing the grass or pavement, or sleeping, they simply want to be with you. Always. Some chew furniture or shoes for a while but usually stop with a bit of gentle, but firm admonishment. They leave hair and muddy paw prints wherever they go. They want to sleep in YOUR bed, quietly at the foot or snuggled up against you. They wait patiently when you leave for work or go out to dinner and are ecstatic when you return. Every time. They depend on you for their every need and in return they give absolutely unconditional love.

As I've said before, not being able to bring our animals with us to Mérida would be a deal breaker.